once again, falling back into darkness. who's willing to give me a hand to pull me up...

my hamster died. i went to find her this morning to play with but she didn move at all when i called her. she had always responded. but today she was just lying there not moving at all.. i just recalled the times how she always managed to cheer me up when im really upset, the times when i cried sitting beside her little "cage" but she ignored me and continue sleeping and even the times she bit me when i tried to carry her. i really miss her... i want to carry her again. )):

i realised tt wan er got injured, like me. such a coincidence. but mine was stupid. i cut myself with e scissors accidentally. i was just cutting some decorative paper.. then snap.. oww. it cut thru my middle finger.. my first instinct was to suck it. but bad choice. blood taste really disgusting.. ): blah.

i need someone to stand by me now. i hate being me. and i am no longer myself.