i feel like i've just woke up from a nightmare. everything just seems unbelievable. it's not until the last minute, literally the last minute, we lost the lead. when the last whistle was blown, everything progressed slowly. the stopwatch reads 15 minutes plus to the end of quarter and the umpire signed the scorecard writing the game to PJC. it's so hard to swallow. nothing else around you matters anymore and the cheering behind echoes. how i hoped it was all a nightmare and perhaps it was time for me to wake up but the time never came because it's never a dream, it was reality. i was just too stunned to cry and i think that applied for most of us. but when it really hit us crying can't even get you feeling better the slightest bit. i thought the hardest part was not crying by myself but looking at my teammates, people whom i love and cherish, cry their hearts out. because you know whatever you say can't help them feel better and you dont know what to say because you feel the same way as them.

grieve is unavoidable but nonetheless other factors matter as well. looking back, the njc netball team trained hard together. we sprint the suicidal runs together. we encouraged each other during long runs. we cheered for each other on court and during trainings. we praised every good passes and good efforts put in by our teammates. we joked and laughed our heads off the dirty jokes and random comments. we helped each other refill our bottles. we helped one another pick up loose balls. the midfielders helped shooters pick up the balls. we spent nights together having dinner and going home together afterwards. we had the vigorous training camp in school. we went KL to train and we got to know each other more. we teased huiqi whenever we get the chance to. we love to camwhore alot. we learn to love each other and enjoy one another's company for this few months. from this game, i truly felt the team spirit and the passion for the sport. though the outcome was far from desired, we all gained something new in life. we gained friendship, we gained fond memories that you won't forget for life. lastly we gained trust and faith from each other which are the basis for human relationships.

nationals have ended for national netball team this year but we promise to fight hard again next year and keep the passion going. because truly, it's only when i play netball, i forget about the upsetting stuff and be myself again. and hanging out with the netballers do cheer me up at times when i'm down. it's huge part of my jc life and i'm not going to give it up just because of this game today.

go nj netballers. this isn't the end.