year 2009 crept up to me so silently that i barely noticed that it's already here. there are so many changes and so many events happening everyday everytime. some changes could be for the better but some just changed regardless you liked it or not. things have changed and nobody denies that. the environment, the plans, people, feelings changed. 2009 will be such a challenging year, such a difficult one too. have i changed too? honestly i don't really have an idea what am i doing now. i just know that i have to score well for As, train hard for nationals, finish my homework and be a good __. but it's so difficult to do everything well. i definitely need more than 24 hours perday. it's like im short of time for almost everything. and now i think i'm starting to become less sensitive, caring, appreciative and loving. because of the lack of time, i'm not fulfilling each of my duties well. perhaps i don't even deserve some of them as well. it's so tired to feel guilty, to feel lousy and to feel useless almost every other day. everything i said doesnt work, i tried to appear happy and it doesnt work either. and there's like almost noone i can share this with because everyone have their own problems too. now i just feel like running away. hiding somewhere where no problems and stress can reach me.